I couldn't sleep much last night. But that doesn't matter. There is someone who is suffering far greater than I am. Someone who is in so much pain that it's unimaginable. Someone I know just lost her husband yesterday. He was a deputy that passed away from injuries sustained while riding a horse in a Memorial Day parade. I don't know her very well, but it still breaks my heart that she lost her husband. Her daughter is in 8th grade with my daughter and they are friends. She used to come to our house and vice versa when they were younger. I can't imagine what they are going through right now.
How can something so awful happen? How do you pick yourself up after something so tragic? Somehow you have to. Life must go on. She has two girls to take care of and they need their mom. I know she will keep going for them. They will all survive. But life will never be the same. They will miss him every day of their lives. He will miss out on so many important events in the girls' lives. Their birthdays, Christmases, graduations, weddings... They will think of him and wish he was there. Who will have "the talk" with their boyfriends when they're in high school? Who will walk them down the aisle on their wedding days? Who will be that male role model in their life that they will take with them to their marriages? They will grieve over the loss of their father for the rest of their lives. When they see their friends with their fathers, it will make them jealous and sad.
Their mom will see him in her daughters and it will hurt every day. She will see him in the color of their eyes and their smiles. Something they say will remind her of him. A look on their face will resemble him. It will hurt, but it will also keep him alive. He will live on through their daughters. But she will be so lonely. She will lie awake at night crying and thinking of him. The bed will feel empty without him next to her. She will feel empty. She still has a lot to live for, but she's lost without him.
The good news is she has hope. She knows he is in heaven and she will meet him there someday. The girls will meet them both there when it is their time. It will be a wonderful, beautiful reunion. There will be no more sadness and no more pain. Just happiness and endless joy. She will want to live her life to the fullest, but she also can't wait for that day. The day when she will no longer miss him and cry for him. The day she will be with the love of her life again.
I can't imagine losing my husband, especially with two young children. This really makes me think and scares me. I could lose my husband. We never know what will happen next. We could all go at any time. What if he is taken away from me? How will I go on? I don't want to think about it, but I can't help it. As I lay in bed last night snuggling with my husband, I told him how thankful I am for him. How I don't want to ever lose him. He just reassured me by hugging me tighter. He didn't have to say anything. That said it all. I feel selfish thinking about myself when she is hurting so much right now. But I think this is a normal thing for most people to feel after something so awful happened to someone we know.
All I can do is pray. Pray for her and her daughters. Pray that God will pick up the broken pieces of their hearts and make them whole again. As whole as they can be. There will always be a small piece missing that nothing can replace. They will always miss him and grieve for him, but it will get easier as time goes on. It won't always be this hard. I know how awful it is to lose someone as I lost my parents at a young age. That's why my heart hurts for these girls to have lost their father at young ages. I would never wish that pain on anyone. But I also know that it's possible to pick yourself up and go on. To find joy in life again. To find meaning and purpose. To help others who are hurting, because you understand what they're going through.
God has a plan and purpose for their lives. They may not know what it is at this time, but He has something amazing planned. He knows their pain and sorrow and He's with them. He will never leave them. I'm praying they will feel His presence and feel His arms around them. That they will not lose hope and faith in this tragic time. That instead their faith will become stronger and they will grow closer with God.
I'm so sorry for their loss. I wish I could ease their pain. But all I can do is continue to pray and offer my help in any way they may need it. That's all any of us can do. No words or deeds can make this better. But we can come together as their community, family, friends... We can be there for them. That's what we do. We love each other through the awful things life throws at us. That's all we can do. Love and pray for each other, and never give up.
